There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
