Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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