I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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