She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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