i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
someone owes me an orgasm
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
