There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize