as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
