You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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