The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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