i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize