Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
