i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
