She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
