I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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