I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
