im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
