You're completely useless in the revolution.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
