you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
