that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
