just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
