I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There r osticjed everywhere
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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