dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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