it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
