Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
