I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
