So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize