Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
