This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
