If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
