Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting

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(845): View more from New York

I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?

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(847): View more from Illinois

she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom

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(509): View more from Washington

im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.

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(315): View more from New York

I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"

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(530): View more from California

I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"

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(614): View more from Ohio

I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"

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(620): View more from Kansas

I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.

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