I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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