Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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