i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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