Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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