it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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