I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
