So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
