That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's rum buckets o'clock
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
