his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
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He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can you bring me the toilet please
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Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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