Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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