you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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