This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
