I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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