dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
