i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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