come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
