Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
