please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
