Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
