man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize