I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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