I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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